The Taylor Family

Somewhere Else -- Simple Lovely

2007-10-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

I've gone in a slightly new blogging direction and am posting over here now...check it out.

Just a Mere 13 Years Away

2007-07-12T13:18:00.000-07:00

How about this…I’m just going to pretend it hasn’t been over a year since I’ve posted to this blog…I’m sure my five readers won’t mind.

A conversation that occurred at our house last week – in two acts:

Act One

A repeat of the HILARIOUS Flight of the Conchords is on TV while Audrey is absorbed in her latest drawing of a “mountain”. (I know, I know, bad, bad mom.)

One of the characters on the (have I already mentioned) HILARIOUS Flight of the Conchords says “asshole”, and Audrey (who hasn’t been paying attention to the television at all up until this point, or so I thought) looks up at me and says quizzically, “asshole?” My response? “Yes, asshole, you can’t say that word.” Her response? “OK” and back to intently working on her “mountain."

She’s incredibly serious about drawing, coloring, painting, etc… lately now that she’s decided she’s going to be an artist when she grows up. Bryan and I wholeheartedly support this career decision as long as she goes the route of artist who makes a tiny bit of money so she can afford bed pans for her parents when they’re old and decrepit, rather than becoming the artist who poops in a box and calls it art. But I digress

Act Two
The next day she’s in the den reading a book with my mother, and Audrey stops her mid-sentence to inquire, “Mama, when can I say asshole.” My mom, who wasn’t present for the aforementioned conversation is needless to say a bit bewildered, and Audrey can tell…so she explains that yesterday her mom told her she couldn’t say the word asshole and wants to know when she can say it.

Without missing a beat (my mom’s done this a few times before after all) she replies, “You can say it when you’re eighteen.” End of conversation.

A couple of hours later Audrey finds me in the kitchen…”Mom, when I’m eighteen, I can say asshole, ok?”

Over the next two days, she proceeds to share this exciting news with everyone within earshot.

Thanks mom.

The Name’s Now Mom

2006-06-20T14:44:00.000-07:00

We’ve entered yet another new era. I am now officially “Mom.” I am no longer “Mama” or even “Mommy” (which truth be told never really took hold in our house.) Nope, it’s always “Mom.” And you know what? I really, really like it. She says it so matter of fact, so certain.

You’d think after almost 3 years this Mom thing would be old hat, but no matter how many milestones of motherhood we hit, I’m always floored that I’m somebody’s Mother, and somehow Audrey’s bold and constant proclamation of it really hits it home in a way that’s pretty delightful.

I also like all the other stuff that seems to have bubbled to the surface in Audrey that’s coinciding with my new moniker.

She’s just at the most witty, lovely, precocious, inventive (and yes, still somewhat maddening) age right now...a few recent nuggets:

She's constantly making up elaborate stories with groovy made up names for her characters like “Schlinkey” and “Umlauve.” Ok, some people might consider this weird. I of course think it’s pretty hilarious. I mean forget her bear “Brownie” or her doll “Kate”…right now it’s all about “Schlinkey.” Period.
She’s taken to calling Bryan and I “honey” when either of us shows any signs of sadness or pain. Like yesterday I stubbed my toe, and she promptly ran over and said, “Oh honey, are you ok…” This would be normal if Bryan or I ever used the term “honey,” but we don’t (we’re more of a “babe” family), so again…hilarious.
She wants to watch the Dan Zanes and Friends DVD I recently bought for her non-stop, but rather than watching the part with all the animated videos, which you’d expect her to like more, she always wants the live concert footage. LOVES the live concert footage of Dan with his crazy hair and his rockin musicians singing the Hokey Pokey.

What can I say…life is sweet.

After the Flood

2006-03-20T14:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday in Dallas was a little wet to stay the least. What started out as a quick trip to the book store ended up with me stranded on the side of the road after pulling into the lawn of an apartment complex while trying to avoid stalling out in three feet of rushing water that the street I was driving on had become.

I was scared to put it mildly, and rather than instantly springing into action to determine how to get out of my predicament, I called Bryan and cried. I’m guessing that right about now most of you are crossing me off your list of people that you’d like to be stuck with in an emergency.

At any rate, while Bryan was talking me down from the ledge, Audrey was hearing the entire conversation from her Dad’s perspective, and when I finally got home (2 hours later, soaked to the bone and covered in mud, but that’s another story) Bryan informed me that A. (who was now napping) was very scared that her Mommy was “lost in the rain”. So sad…poor kid…I can’t even begin to imagine the therapy bill for this one.

A couple of hours later when A. woke up from her nap she opened her eyes, looked up at me and said (and I quote) “Mom, you ok…did you get stuck in the rain?”

Yes, I cried.

Meltdown

2006-02-17T15:01:00.000-08:00

I feeling pretty darn smitten with Audrey of late…even though she is firmly ensconced in what is better known as the terrible twos. I’ve never wanted to buy into that, thinking that if I admitted they exist I would somehow be creating a self fulfilling prophesy. But make no mistake, we've arrived.

Ironically she’s more charming, loving and funny than she’s ever been…punctuated with irrational little eruptions of the kind of red-faced, alligator tear crying that can only come from getting one waffle instead of two or not rewinding the Wiggles to the exact scene that she wants to view at that exact moment. ARGH!!! I’ve started having to give myself timeouts so I don’t go completely postal when she’s freaking out.

Of course I’m usually sitting in my “timeout” thinking about how charming, loving and funny she is…such is life.

Too Much Information

2006-01-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

We’re making some progress with Audrey on the whole potty training thing. Not leaps and bounds mind you, but several successful visits to the bathroom at her request. And of course we’re very excited and congratulatory each and every time. She’s pretty proud of herself, so I guess it’s no surprise that the other night when I answered the door for the pizza guy, as I was tipping him, Audrey declared, I pee pee’d…in the potty!

You go girl. How’s that for a tip pizza guy?

Giving Thanks

2005-11-30T08:39:00.000-08:00

Clearly writing frequent blog entries isn’t my strong suit, so here follows my epic recap of the past couple of months. Since we’re fresh off Thanksgiving, I thought it appropriate to devote this entry to the things the Taylor’s have been particularly grateful of late. Here goes… in no particular order…

Bryan’s Cousins – As we do every year, we spent Thanksgiving with Bryan’s extended family. This annual tradition usually draws about 25 of Bryan’s cousins and second cousins (or first cousins once removed or however that goes) from his mom’s side of the family. Bryan’s cousins are such a warm, funny, kind group, and we love being around them…and really how often do you get to say that about family…at a holiday no less.

Saying Goodbye to a Major Oral Fixation – We’ve recently curbed Audrey of her 24/7 dependence on “pappies” (her pacifiers.) I use the plural because just having one in her mouth wasn’t enough to (excuse the pun) pacify her. No, she had to “triple fist” them…walking around with spare pappies stuck to the end of her fingers. Now, I have to use this moment to say that I really didn’t have a major issue with the pappie usage, seeing as she only recently turned two…but the comments from family, friends and strangers were sending me over the proverbial edge. What we thought was going to be a nightmare of epic proportions was actually quite easy. In a mere two days, we broke her daytime pacifier usage completely and limited her indulgence to nap and bed time. Success…Which leads me to my next item-o-thanks…

Say What? – The significant drop in pappie addiction has lead to a new era of communicating with Audrey. This is the good stuff… the little quips that Audrey comes up with which are worthy of that inevitable “kids say the darndest things” page in all parenting magazines – I hate that page by the way. Of course now that I’m writing about it, I actually remember very few hilarious things she’s said lately. I know I should really write them down…just like I should really break her of that damn pappie altogether…you know she is two after all.

Play Doh – I know this one is decidedly less significant than the rest, but it merits a place on the list due to the sheer volume of Audrey meltdowns it’s prevented over the past few months. It’s a God send I tell ya, and if you’re the parent of a toddler and have yet to purchase Play Doh, I highly recommend you get to the nearest store and buy some.

Grosse Pointe Blank

2005-10-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we attended Bryan’s 20 year high school reunion. It was pretty much as expected -- this is one arena that Hollywood really has nailed, as every movie I’ve ever seen depicting a high school reunion is pretty much exactly as it is in real life. Margarita fueled small talk and bad bar-b-que buffet aside (this is Texas after all, and we remind you every chance we get), it was not a bad time.

Sadly there were no high school girlfriends present, which was my major motivator for agreeing to attend, so I only got to check out the girl Bryan kissed after a rousing game of third grade spin the bottle. Yes, there were people there from THIRD GRADE. I’m sorry but my gypsy upbringing just can’t wrap my head around that.

A side effect of the weekend long reunion festivities was that Audrey got to spend the evening with Ann and Sam (as in the infamous “daises on her birthday Sam” from the photo below.) They spent most of the night pushing Audrey’s new doll around in her little stroller, which is thrilling, as Ann and I are busy devising a scheme to ensure Audrey and Sam marry. Not anytime soon of course. Texas isn’t Utah after all.

Green Acres

2005-09-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

Ever since Audrey’s birthday party, she’s been obsessed with singing “Happy Birthday” to everyone and everything within ear shot. Nothing is exempt… the refrigerator, the coffee table, the cat…all possible targets for her birthday props. Last night she was saluting herself, and at the end of the tune she acted out an elaborate pantomime of blowing out the imaginary candle on the imaginary cake. When I asked her what she wished for she said, “a birthday cake” reasonable enough request…and then without missing a beat, “and a pony.” Damn…a pony…already?

You Say it’s your Birthday

2005-09-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

Audrey turned two this week-end, and it was quite a raucous party. She managed to inhale 3 cupcakes, and we had German sausage, potato salad and beer to satiate our grown-up guests. Our lovely, lovely friends brought so many thoughtful gifts… it was overwhelming. One of the high points was when Audrey’s buddy Sam showed up with a perfect little bouquet of daisies for her.

Not only was Audrey completely aware that it was her birthday, but she spent the entire week-end singing “happy birthday” to herself…Gotta love that kid!

The Name Game

2005-09-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, I always wanted to change my name. Nobody could ever pronounce or spell my name correctly and for a kid in the 70’s with hippie, nomad parents, it was just a little too exotic. I spent hours dreaming up nice, “common” alternative names for myself, something easy to spell…like ‘Kim’ or ‘Lisa.’ I was thoroughly envious of my sisters who got the popular, “normal” names ‘Jennifer’ and ‘Julee.’ As you can imagine, they of course had their own set of challenges, which they lament frequently as adults -- chiefly that they never heard their names in a class roll call without their last initial after it. Let’s face it, for a kid being unique simply isn’t a priority.

But not for our girl…our traditionally named Audrey declared to us last night (at age two mind you) that her name was now ‘Bubbles’…actually ‘Bubbles Simone Taylor’ to be exact.

Good Lord.

Like Mother Like Daughter

2005-08-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

At 7:53 a.m. on Sunday, August 14th, Audrey said her first swear word. It was "Shit". Of course she said it right after I said it (which was right after I slipped on a HotWheel and spilled an entire coffee tin of crayons on the floor.)

I have a bit of a reputation for swearing like a sailor but have significantly curbed my predilection for profanity since Audrey was born. I figured I needed to clean up my act, as my proudest moment would likely NOT be having my daughter put in a "time-out" at pre-school for calling a classmate an "Asshole"

But yesterday I was proud. I put it in the baby book right next to the date of her first haircut…that’s my girl!

Twinkle Star

2005-08-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

There’s a groovy little CD that we sometimes listen to in the car with Audrey called For the Kids. For the most part, the songs are pretty decent…especially the first track by Cake and “Wonderwheel” by the hipster kid’s music czar, Dan Zanes.

My favorite track by far though is the truly over the top rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” This version of “Twinkle Star”, as Audrey calls it, is so deliciously overwrought that it’s sublime. With it’s soaring crescendos, heartfelt background vocals, inspiring duet moments and soulful instrumental interludes, it would be a perfect karaoke tune. Needless to say, I live to blast it at full volume on our way home from work and do a little interpretive dance during the especially dramatic parts – much to Bryan’s INTENSE chagrin…I have rarely seen my husband in so much abject agony.

And, now you’re expecting me to say that Audrey loves it…singing along in the backseat…totally blissed out. Well I could, but I would be lying -- shamelessly covering up the fact that this song utterly and completely rocks my world. Whew, admission is the first step. That felt good.

Is There a Minimum Age Requirement for the Betty Ford Clinic?

2005-08-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

So our little Audrey is a fan of the drugs. It’s really no surprise, I mean, since our first bout of colic set in at 4 weeks, she's been on the road to addiction...from sweetly satisfying Mylicon (yes, I've tasted all her drugs, surprised?) to eye drops for her blocked tear duct and ointments-a-plenty for her delightful baby rash…good thing we loved her so much, because the kid looked pretty scary for the first few months. We moved onto the hard stuff when apocalyptic teething and raging ear infections lead us to nightly doses of Motrin or Tylenol and, of course, the antibiotic du jour.

Now for those of you that know us well and have seen the inside of our medicine cabinet, you know that if you get sick at our house, you’re set. Whether it’s cramps, a stuffy nose or cough, blisters, a headache, cholera, pancreatic cancer… we’ve got you covered. And Bryan lives for the drugstore. If I send him to CVS for, say, some batteries or diapers, I inevitably end up reworking our monthly budget to accommodate his spoils (vitamins, herbs, Chloraseptic, three different shapes of band-aids...) Let's just say at one point during college he thought he wanted to be a pharmacist, and as a result we have 3 different versions of the Physicians Desk Reference at our house, which is lovingly called the PDR and referenced often even though neither of us is a physician. As for me, I’m definitely an advocate of better living through chemistry. I wanted an epidural when I FOUND OUT I was pregnant. I mean, why wait until the pain actually begins?

With this rockin start in life and her DNA, it’s no wonder that our little bean is an addict. And due to our recent foray into the world of ear tubes, she hasn’t needed more than an occasional squirt of her allergy spray and two gummy bear vitamins every morning. She’s jonesing. Big time. Every night in the bath (this is where we gave her the bulk of her antibiotics during the ear infection epidemic), she points longingly at the medicine cabinet and cries “mae mae” (the universal cry for medicine of the under two set I’m sure.)

Poor Audrey…I feel your pain kid, I really do!

Week in Review

2005-07-20T14:54:00.000-07:00

Audrey called me “mom” this week. Prior to this utterance, I had only been "mama" or very occasionally "mommy", but this was straight up “mom.” I even asked her if she just called me “mom”, and without skipping a beat, she said, “yes mom”, like I was clearly deaf and maybe even a little dense.

Like your standard parent, I resort to using A’s first and middle name (Simone) when pleading with her to stop doing something life threatening (she’s a coffee table climber extraordinaire.) Earlier this week, I randomly asker her what her middle name was…expecting she’d come up empty since we haven’t really covered the whole concept of a middle name -- and how it’s generally used to appease a family member or spouse who didn’t win on the whole first name competition. But alas, she calmly shot back, “Namone." No fanfare, just the facts. Close enough…excuse me while I call Harvard.

We discovered she LOVES olives. If the 24 hours of labor isn’t enough to prove she’s my kid, this seals the deal.

Meet Mademoiselle Bossy

2005-07-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

So Audrey’s bossy…I know complete shocker. Her current favorite phrase is “Sit down over there”, which she demands while pointing to the exact spot in the room that she wants you to inhabit. If we refuse, or even hesitate for a beat, she repeats the command at increasing volume until we eventually cave in (which we always do.) We’re sunk…we’ve officially allowed ourselves to be ruled by a pint sized dictator. And to think pre-Audrey I actually said out loud that I would never let my kids boss me around. Sucker.

Monkey See Monkey Do

2005-07-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well like good Americans, we're jumping on the latest bandwagon and starting a blog. Musings, latest exciting happenings in the Taylor family and of course the requisite pictures...it'll all be here for your viewing pleasure. Think of it this way, it'll keep your inbox smaller, since we'll stop sending you all those huge picture attachments. Enjoy!